Calories Burned During Sex

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent - 12 Calories
Without her consent - 2,187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands - 8 Calories
With one hand - 12 Calories
With your teeth - 485 Calories


PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection - 6 Calories
Without an erection - 3,315 Calories


POSITIONS:
Missionary - 12 Calories
69 lying down - 78 Calories
69 standing up - 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow - 216 Calories
Doggy Style - 326 Calories
Italian chandelier - 2,912 Calories


ORGASMS:
Real - 112 Calories
Fake - 1,315 Calories


POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging - 18 Calories
Getting up immediately - 36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately - 816 Calories


GETTING A 2nd ERECTION:

If you are:
20-29 years - 36 Calories
30-39 years - 80 Calories
40-49 years - 124 Calories
50-59 years - 1,972 Calories
60-69 years - 7,916 Calories
70 and over - Results are still pending


DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. - 32 Calories
In a hurry - 98 Calories

Her father knocking at the door - 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door - 13,521 Calories

Right now, as you read this,69 Million People are having SEX !

And you're on the computer !!!

Get a life man!

Note:Credit to the original author & researcher.

Useful TIps!

Excuses...err...i mean reasons.....hmm...i mean things to tell your wife when you are caught with your pants down!

#5

"Honey, you remember that you told me that our mattress need to be replaced? I found a good one and was trying it out when you walked in!"

( Keep your composure while saying it, remember....you have done nothing wrong!)

#4

"Honey! I did this for you, i know that you are so tired doing the laundries, the cooking, the washing, ........and so many things day in, day out. How could i be so selfish asking you to have sex after all that you have done???"

(Maintain the its-all-for-you face expression)

#3

"Dear, you are hallucinating again! You should really take your medicine! I am alone here with you ......and why are you yelling at the table lamp???"

(Make sure you yell louder than her and act that you are really disappointed with her bahaviour)

#2

" Who are you? Where am I? Who is she?? Why am i naked? Who am I ???

(Just act insane.......remember,its your life at stake!)

#1

"Honey.......i was raped!!!! sob...sob..sob"

(Make sure there are tears...and keep blaming the woman....or the man you are with)

Disclaimer:

While the above tips have saved many marriages, Mr BIG offers no guarantee that it will work for you. It depends how good is your acting, how much you can lie.....and of course, how fierce is your wife!