Thursday, June 18, 2009

Interesting Stuff

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed tobeat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have'the rule of thumb'
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF enteredinto the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV wereFred and Wilma Flintstone..
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the GreatDiamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs inthe air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg inthe air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. Ifthe horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcauses.
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boatname requested?
A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to gountil you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, andlaser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A.. Honey
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bedfirmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase.......... 'goodnight, sleeptight.'
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for amonth after the wedding, the bride's father would supply hisson-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer andbecause their calendar was lunar based, this period was called thehoney month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in oldEngland , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked intothe rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is thephrase inspired by this practice.
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave..

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4.. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries..

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8.. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee..

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14.. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

Monday, June 1, 2009

For Men Only

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets of husband, to keep your marriage brimming:1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous